I was reading a book by Kelly Monroe Kullberg on Finding God Beyond Harvard. It's like a story, her very own quest in founding Veritas Forum at Harvard Divinity School.
She started off with the environment of the school, then adding on her own little pieces of the story. What really hit me yesterday while reading in the dental office was this part:
"I (Kelly) came to understand the insight of the brilliant journalist G.K. Chesterton: "It's not that Christianity is tried and found wanting,but that it is considered difficult and left untried." I believe that the culture of Harvard Divinity School and the university beyond it found Jesus difficult, and best left untried."
Do you resonate? This story was back in the 1980s. 30 years now, seems like a similar story to me. Then MN and I were spontaneously meeting up to share and catch up...funny thing is, when she was sharing something, the word fear popped into my mind.
Maybe people are not wanting to get to know God because of fear more than simply the notion of indifference. And that's not what the Gospel is. The Gospel is a gift from God, it's not like you can deny a gift and throw it back - it's on the table, the decision being made is to accept or not.
Although I'm not typing a lot lately, I've been learning a lot. Most of the time, I need the thoughts to really sink in, and to really ponder on them.
The plan for these few weeks was to REST! Ended up having a more busy schedule than during school time.
I need to be more diligent. There are so many things that I actually need to work on before next week, and yet I would say yes to meet ups and stuff. So it's either I end up coming home late or that people would stay at my place until late. It's not until I was so focused on packing this afternoon, that I knew how much I can get done when I want to get things done.
Been reflecting on a lot of things lately, and in many ways I'm inspired by books and people. By the way, please pray for me, I have my short term mission funding interview from my home church.
It's been a great while trying to organize and figure things out after coming back from Mark Central. Occasionally hanging out with people, going around to new places, enjoying the weather in Toronto...
This is the very first day in this week where I have just chilled at home. Now that we have a whole living room, it's actually really comfy. Sitting here with the blinds up and the futon out here, it's enjoyable just to read a book, have a sip of my favorite tea :)
It's such a blessing to be able to sit here and enjoy the Saturday afternoon. I don't recall when was the last time I did this :P Finding rest in Him.
Today we didn't have a Bible study, instead it was a sharing section. I have definitely encountered a lot this week, and see many things and experienced many things that God has been teaching me. However, it was not until Pete told us to read through the Scriptures again this morning, have I really really really pondered on what exactly have I experienced throughout the chapters.
So I kinda wrote down a little of what I was about to share...
What strikes me the most was that...after a few sharings, what I wrote down just went down the drain. God nudged me to share, to share what's really on my heart, even if it means that I'll shed some tears. In the end, I did share...and people in the room who previously knew me probably was really shocked too? (Perhaps?) I shared things that not many people have known...maybe for the person that I shared my full testimony with, and a few others who I've shared this piece of me by random?
All of us were vulnerable to one another. There was definitely an incredible amount of trust within the group. There were things that people have indicated that they haven't shared with people much...and stories.
Very first time...It was my very first time to really encounter this kind of fellowship. We did not tell people of our struggles to gain pity or anything, but it was simply an act of praising God through sharing our stories. Simply it was all of us testifying God's work in our life in that week, as testimonies to encourage one another. To be honest, I have never been so open about my own story throughout these 4 years. Even being in a fellowship, I have never felt so comfortable in being myself (like...the me who can be crazy), and to share so much in such a short period of time.
It was only 7 days. Once again God surprises me so much! His transformational power again exceeds what I'll ever expect. Not only within myself, but for others as well. The act of digging deep into the Scriptures together, the act of fellowshipping with one another, the act of seeking Him more...drew all of us closer in His name.
In the beginning, not all of us we in the class could call each other brothers and sisters. Yet in the end of the week, all of us were brothers and sisters in Christ. In the beginning, only a few of us knew each other, and in the end of the week, we all knew each other on a deeper level. In the beginning, we thought we knew the parables...in the end of the week, I guess we all realized that we've only scratched the surface before.
It was an amazing experience meeting IVCF peeps :D The next few days will be hard...but I will continue to be grateful in the blessings He has given me :) "The Chinese Fire Drill" will not end at Mark Central! :) Hope to see them at Urbana2012 if I have the $$$ to go!
Yesu Azali Awa - Jesus is Here (A song that we ended worship with :D)
Finished the last Bible Study. There we go, 42 hours.
I really love the community that we've built over this week :) Seeing a friend coming to Christ, that's been very very powerful and amazing to our class. The breakfast, lunch and dinners. The games, the sharing, the praying...
What really hit home for me was really seeing God's healing power on a lot of us. For the people who I've been sharing to, we've all experienced God's healing in many different ways :) These sisters that I've only met for less than a week were so open in sharing their stories with me, and this is what fellowship is like. We shared with one another to testify God's work in our lives. Not to pity one another, but to pray for and with one another, really lifting up everything into His hands. It's precious, really precious, because for us, when we shared about it, it's really God's gift to us to be able to even call each other sisters in Christ.
Today we spent our whole free time sharing and praying on the green pastures :P (for the people who gets this :P) Talking about random things under the sun later on with other people in our class, it was such a great time :D
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By going through the study, the more I see Jesus' compassion on all of us. Even if it means that it will take great lengths, He will not give up on us. Feeding the 5000 and 4000, telling us that He is abundant, not only for the people sitting on the grass and in the desert, but also for the 12 tribes and 7 nations. His love - it's amazing.
I really want to thank those who walked this short journey of digging into the Scriptures with me :) And ultimately to really thank God for all that He has blessed us this week!
In class today, Tony pointed out a really great observation in feeding the five thousand. The miracle that we see does not occur in the moment when Jesus blesses and breaks the bread. It happens gradually in the process of disciples hand out the bread to the crowd that were in groups of 50 and 100.
And we witness God's power of transformation that is working gradually in a friends life :) YP came to Christ tonight after worship! Really amazed by being able to witness in this, the whole community of us (from ISM and CCF), gathered together to pray for their chat, it was great!
It's getting really late...for me to really type this...it's actually almost 2am...>.< and I have 9 hours ahead. On a side note - Urbana is coming up! I really want to go :( I'm really wrestling with the thought...do I have the money? Will I be here? - once again...back to faith...
This was the theme today for the prayer room. And it really fit into the sharing I had with a friend during lunch. I don't know how the conversation came about, I think I started asking her why she's studying at Wycliff. Then there came a lot of sharing between the two of us...
What struck me the most was the comment she made, "we are freed then from the people in this world." The healing that she experienced these past two days was a great testimony. I'm so glad that I got to talk to her more in depth. Her sharing parts of her testimony to me was so amazing, there was an instant feeling of connection between our friendship. While she was talking, this was ringing in my head: "My chains are gone, I've been set free..."
I thank God really just for that opportunity for us to talk and share, it was really refreshing.
The application question from last section: what are you desperately finding to be freed from? Are you like that women going to Christ with determination to find healing?
Can't really register right now. It feels like I need some time to let things sink in. And my head is hurting.
Today's Bible study was brought to another level. I have never experienced a manuscript study the way it was held. The personal reflection and application part was so much more profound in many ways. Just being able to see things in a different perspective. To ponder on what it really means to desperately go through extensive lengths to find healing in Christ. Also, on what exactly are you trying to find healing in...just simple physical healing? Or healing as a whole. Do you want to be "made well?"
During reflection, many song popped up into my mind, and maybe I'll post the one that really hit me - come home running:
"So come home running
His arms are open wide
His name is Jesus
He understands
He is the answer
You are looking for
So come home running
Just as you are"
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Talking on the phone after, sharing, I guess you know...finding healing first really does come back to be in His presence :) Thanks for the chat! - you know who you are.
I wish I can describe my feelings with the appropriate words...
This morning going into our 15th hour, I was so tired and brain dead. 9 hours straight yesterday was a little taxing on my little brain - information overload.
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Started the morning at the prayer room :) Going to the first study was a little tiring though, maybe last night I didn't sleep too well, and people on my floor were very loud, they were jamming at 12am.
It's interesting how God speaks to you in different ways through scripture, and in retrospect seeing how things are pieced together. While I was at the prayer room after lunch, today the topic was hope, healing and restoration. A clay pot was smashed and we could take pieces of the clay pot and paint them - in whatever you like, anything that has to do with the theme. Not knowing what to paint, I saw three pieces put together on the ground, so I went to find a space to paint. Only had blue and white in front of me, so I decided, "hmmmm...maybe I'll paint a cloud on these three pieces and make it a mosaic itself on it's own, as looking up into the sky always gives me hope." Why painting and meditating on the passages studied, what caught my attention was this one verse - "Just as Jesus was coming up out of the water, he saw heaven being torn open and the Spirit descending on him like a dove." Mark 1:10. It was just the thing I was painting. A cloud/the sky being torn open.
I really want to try sharing the experience of the Bible studies, but I really can't...it's a little impossible. Digging into it, being more confused, discussing, wrestling with people on the passage and questions, discussion and throwing ideas across the room, drawing connections...and then "Aha!" That moment of "ding" happened so many times for us as a group today.
It's really awesome to study the word with a group of dedicated people, everyone was just so on their feet, even though we were so tired and was lack of expressions, the excitement you see when the word speaks to us! That moment of seeing a glimpse of what the Scripture means, I don't really know how to describe it. I guess it's kind of a thing where you need to experience it on your own.
After the last section, a seeker YP was asking me more questions on the passage we studied, we wrestled with it a little more. And if you see this, please do pray for her? :) As a team we all think that she might become a believer this week. Please pray that the Word will come alive for her. She told me that it's such a great experience for her to see how something originally confusing becomes clearer to her after the studies :)
From my notes:
"Our faith is like an Easter egg hunt, and our Lord is waiting for us. He does not hide the eggs so that we cannot find it, but He hides it so that they can be found. And during the process of finding the eggs, we can thus experience tremendous joy and excitement."
"Read it once, and you don't have questions? Read it again...read it until you have questions!" - Pete (InterVarsity Staff)
3+9 hours and we are only half way through Mark chapter 2. It's just so amazing how you much you can dig out of the scriptures. And I'm not kidding, seeing the progression, the reoccurring themes, Mark's so no detailed (some parts) of writing...I want to study the whole thing again quietly by myself, but I guess my body doesn't quite allowing that to happen.
There was prayer time after lunch, and it was really good solo time ;) We were playing with clay (children's clay), and we were encouraged to make things in accordance in what we've learned these past two days.
Since this morning, I'm still thinking about the phrase - follow me. The great things about these few Bible studies is that it flows so well! After in depth studying the themes, you seem to "get it" a little more, and when it comes to application, things flow through. It feels so great participating in the discussion, throwing ideas back and forth, challenging one another with questions. In a sense, it sheds some light in what a great manuscript study is, the facilitator/group leader invites you in this journey and just guides you through. Very organic, great dynamics, and simply ignites an excitement for the word from within.
Seeing the word coming alive through the whole process is so cool. As you go through the passage again and again, with questions and observation, the Word speaks to you. When repeatedly reading the passage, you see the words used, the connections, how things slowly fall into place (but obviously, not all questions can be answered).
"In the early morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house, and went away to a secluded place, and was praying there." Mark 1:35
(Still have so many outstanding posts to type, but I'll post this one first :))
JH, you are leaving on this wonderful adventure with God :) It's really exciting!!
Like you always say, God is awesome. And He is indeed! You are such a blessing to me, and who am I going to pray with when you are gone? :P To count my blessings, you are definitely one person that will be on my list. I still remember that day where I was sitting at SS with a friend, and you passed by. Interestingly the friend knew you but I didn't, and the next moment you see me enthusiastically inviting you to sit with us - still have yet met you in person, and that was the very first time. I still remember the first time we meet, you prayed for me, and exactly what you prayed for.
Many other days where we just pray together, share with one another. Haha! You are one person that I've quite openly shared with noting that I just met you maybe a few months ago? You've showed me and inspired me so much :D The times where I felt like there's no one else to share with, you understood exactly what I was feeling. When I was ranting, you would just sit there and listen, cry with me and comfort me. The compassion you have reminds me where shortest verse in the Bible depicts Christ's compassion - Jesus wept (John 11:35, NASB).
You will be heading off today, and I really wished that we had more time that day to share all the blessings and things we have learned :) And to pray with one another. You'll learn lots and please come back with things to share! Can't wait to see you :D (whether it'll be on skype or in person)
"Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children; and walk in love, just as Christ also loved you and gave Himself up for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God as a fragrant aroma" Ephesians 5:1-2
Praise God that I'm able to come to Mark Central :) Really enjoying my time here.
Manuscript Bible study seems so familiar, yet at the same time, it's so not. Maybe I have not been in a Bible study where I can just be a participant, I'm definitely enjoying it. Just seeing how all of us just dive into the Word. Markings, arrows, and shapes on our manuscripts...it's quite cool. Seeing how the Scripture comes alive makes me in awe. And the people - I got to meet quite a few people from other campuses, and even fellow UofT students that attend IVCF.
This is actually really cool, because I know that this is not another 1 week thing where I go and will forget. The more I read the first page of our manuscript package, the more I want to dig deeper into the Word. So many questions!!!! >.< I've been slacking off with reading the Word lately...reading is merely not enough. I'm thankful to be reminded of how much I actually enjoy doing Bible studies :) (I sound like a nerd)...
I was so tired today...and hungry too! But then again, my excitement of the word when you just see how things are revealed through the discussion in small groups and large group discussion took away my weariness :P I really can't wait for tomorrow! 9 hours ahead...time to be disciplined and get some sleep - which rare to see me in bed before 12.
“The time has come,” he said. “The kingdom of God has come near. Repent and believe the good news!” Mark 1:15
