Home

Yesterday I had a conversation with a friend about the idea of home when they came to visit. To me, there's really no where I consider home. The definition itself is a little blurred. I would say that I'm born and raised in Hong Kong, grew up in Canada, but I recognize none as my home.

As my roommate and I talked about storing treasures in heaven. I start to ponder and think...

Where is home?

 The idea of home is too vague, or that I decide to scrap it all together. I've lived with wonderful people in the past, and yet it's really nothing more than a house/shelter to me. Sometimes I'd like to think it's just because I see heaven as my home, but as you know...for that I am doubtful too.

Then I remembered something I read a few days ago...

“Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me. In my Father’s house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. You know the way to the place where I am going.” John 14:1-4

Then in verse 6 is the famous verse: " Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me."

Maybe after all...it doesn't matter where we call home. Maybe the place we call home is as simple as where we find God so that we can be in His presence.

Any thoughts to enlighten me? :) 

Community

As I have to start moving on from university fellowship, I start to realize the importance if not the necessity of a community. While sitting at home this evening...looking at the clock ticking...contemplating whether to go to ccf or not - in the end I decided to stay and have some fellowship time with God.

It was great nonetheless reading Scripture and books, yet there was that something missing. May I call that as such some person to bounce off ideas with. It's always great to have someone challenging you on the other side, giving you the opportunity to think in different perspectives.

In search of a new community is tough...especially while keeping in touch with old ones. I have the tendency to cut off ties in order to move on. And this time, maybe as while being honest to myself, it's really really something that I need to pray for. For God to really refine me through this process. So that I'll preserver, be open, and to allow God to be in control :)

Cry In My Heart

"There is a Cry in my heart..." It hit home when I was listening to this song while walking to meet a friend this morning.

I'm curious, critical, and skeptical. I always wonder about different things...and would want to find out alternatives if a certain answer does not fulfill my curiosity or that it's not satisfying. Being frustrated by the job market, with conflicts/arguments, with myself and people...I've been wondering what it'll be like if I weren't a Christian. As lame as it sounds, I started imagining different things that might happen at least in the last 4 years of university if I wasn't following Christ.

Ironically...the more I looked into the past 4 years, I realized one thing - God's fingerprints are too evident in my life, there's no point in denying it at all. If I were to choose to deny the slightest bit of God's unconditional love, I might as well take out large chunks of my life. Sometimes the many coincidences that we think we know of...we just don't know it all. Connecting all the dots...seeing the bigger picture...Wow! How am I not to be humbled? He still used me at the times when I felt the most helpless...

God's love for us is so great! I've been overwhelmed these 2 days by how He picks me up when I feel in despair. If people say that I'm encouraging...Haha! I'm really nothing in comparison to God. He is the true one who encourages and loves unconditionally!

Cry in My Heart @ Starfield

There's a cry in my heart
For Your glory to fall
For Your presence to fill up my senses
There's a yearning again
A thirst for discipline
A hunger for things that are deeper

Could You take me beyond?
Could You carry me through?
If I open my heart?
Could I go there with You?
(For I've been here before
But I know there's still more
Oh, Lord, I need to know You)

For what do I have
If I don't have You, Jesus?
What in this life
Could mean any more?
You are my rock
You are my glory
You are the lifter
Of my head
Lifter of this head 

The Season of Abiding

By abiding, I mean to grow closer and more intimate with God.

I have not been typing on this blog for a long while, at times I feel like I have been neglecting my readers, if I have any at all. At the same time, it's been very tough for me personally. During this past month and a bit after coming back from Cambridge, all I've been experiencing is being hit by life's expected and inevitable lessons.

During these times of struggle, the more I'm reminded of God's grace. To be honest to you all, God's grace is something seemingly too far from me. The idea that Christ died on the cross for me is one of the things I wrestle with the most. Little that I know, the more I wrestle with this and dealing with the fundamental brokenness in my life, the more I fear God and His grace. Knowing that we are all unworthy, knowing that I need to find my identity in Christ, knowing that God is the one who fulfills...I undoubtedly pushed God away because of my pride.  

So why is now a season of abiding? Simply put, I thirst for God. I'm tired of trying to figure out things on my own. I know it's going to hurt a lot when I'm honest and surrender certain things I hold onto, yet I know God is my healer. He will heal me as I do believe! My brokenness can only be restored when I let go. I want to be set free by Your grace and by You alone!

I'll continue to praise You while life seems so dull. You are here by my side, I know that!