This shall be my last reflection post on Urbana.
I've decided to share about this part of Urbana not because it's personal. That itself is true, but more so, I wish to include and invite you all who is reading in this journey of mine.
For those who have been to Urbana, you all know that there's a night of decision making (honestly, I made my decision before that occurred...regardless, let's continue) There of course are several different check boxes for us to check or not check in the decision card. Of what decision I made is seriously not that important - more so is that I decided to put His will before mine.
Practicing radical obedience is not easy. The tendency and temptation to laze out and to waste life is more salient than I ever thought of it to be. To be conscious of how much time I'm allocating on things I enjoy doing - i.e. watching movies and shows - is very itching. Reflecting of how many hours I've been watching stuff in a week is shocking. In comparison...my hours of picking up a book, doing devos, or reading the Word is of no significant in my weekly span of life. Rooting myself down to read and not hang out / chill with people required much more disciplined than I originally thought. But I'm learning :) and our heavenly Father has been gracious and merciful when I failed again and again.
Being attentive has also been difficult. The impulse of doing things on a spur, reacting in ways spontaneously is sometimes by hindsight known as irrational. Haha. So if you may pray for me that I'll be attentive and disciplined in Him.
Anyhow. I've digressed.
The night where decision cards were placed in front of our seats. I was burdened in a way. The idea of commitment again came to haunt me. Yet, God spoke to me through a missionary's wife's testimony (which reminded me of Elisabeth Elliot - really want to hear her speak!!!). The reality, the mundane, the years of serving in a foreign land is not easy. Not only does it require faith, but enormous amounts of obedience. Daily submission is required, if not by seconds. It was so realistic of a story that challenged me to ask myself this question: are you ready for this if God calls you to? Honestly speaking, I'm not. I still need to be baby-ed, hand held, and taught. I was inspired by this Godly woman. How it reminded me of the days of being female devotional leader at CCF, how I read so much about being a Godly women. It was beyond my reach in many ways after listening to her, yet her gentle but convicting words spoke deep into my heart. "Your life is not a waste" and the idea along where you'll waste it if you don't answer His call. She said she herself had to fill in a commitment card to recommit her life to God. Profound! Profound indeed!
I'm not going to publicly post what decision I made that night. You can personally ask me when you see me or ask me :) Anyway...one thing to end off with - God is good! In measures beyond what we can imagine. His great invitation is for everyone. The simple and most fundamental one is to surrender your life to Him.
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