The Season of Abiding

By abiding, I mean to grow closer and more intimate with God.

I have not been typing on this blog for a long while, at times I feel like I have been neglecting my readers, if I have any at all. At the same time, it's been very tough for me personally. During this past month and a bit after coming back from Cambridge, all I've been experiencing is being hit by life's expected and inevitable lessons.

During these times of struggle, the more I'm reminded of God's grace. To be honest to you all, God's grace is something seemingly too far from me. The idea that Christ died on the cross for me is one of the things I wrestle with the most. Little that I know, the more I wrestle with this and dealing with the fundamental brokenness in my life, the more I fear God and His grace. Knowing that we are all unworthy, knowing that I need to find my identity in Christ, knowing that God is the one who fulfills...I undoubtedly pushed God away because of my pride.  

So why is now a season of abiding? Simply put, I thirst for God. I'm tired of trying to figure out things on my own. I know it's going to hurt a lot when I'm honest and surrender certain things I hold onto, yet I know God is my healer. He will heal me as I do believe! My brokenness can only be restored when I let go. I want to be set free by Your grace and by You alone!

I'll continue to praise You while life seems so dull. You are here by my side, I know that!