Reconnect?

Stop for a moment. 30 seconds maybe?

Take another 30 seconds to think of the certain individuals that you haven't seen for a long time, friends that you used to be so close with...when was the last time you saw them?

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Where there a lot? Or at least a couple? 

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It has come to my realization that I've lost so many ties with people in these past 4 years. People in high school, friends from res, commerce friends, DECA friends, debate friends...the list goes on.

The group that I treasured the most was my high school friends. It was so nice to have them around through the hardest times. Spending our last year together at lunch everyday, walking home from school, same group for projects, deciding on which uni to go to, prom...etc. It was fun, and I definitely had so much fun after being in the darkest pit in my grade 11 year.

Obviously, our group not only had us girls, but also a few more guys from fellowship. Steven always drove, so a few of us who had more time would always go out for dinners, or randomly chill after school. His 1996 Honda Accord helped created so many of those memories, the good ones (can't really come up with bad ones). Johnny's burger, sushi, late night hang out at Sally's...

Even when Steven and I started dating in first year, we would always hang out with Sally and Judy, cause Steven and Sally would come out from Laurier/Waterloo often enough. Judy and I hung out very frequently in first year as we had a lot of time on campus.

Things changed along the way...

Judy cut off all her contacts and disappeared (it was the scariest thing for me), and of course...Steven and I broke up. And at the same time, we all started getting busy at school, weekly emails became bi-monthly, then became monthly...

The break up was bad enough on it's own, and because we didn't really tell our group of friends that we were going out in the first place, everything just shattered as we lost contact with Judy.

Maybe I was really frustrated back then, and that I craved (and still do) for attachment with people, I asked why do we no longer meet up as a group of friends whenever we can. Slowly I drifted away, and justified my actions by thinking that I have a community in university already.

Later on, at times where I see things that knocks at this chest of treasures I have...it's the most painful thing. I still remember seeing Steven at Frosh ConnecXion 2010...he was the MC for the night (which I was utterly surprised to see him there)...I think that moment flooded my brain with memories of high school, and thus I volunteered to go wash utensils from the barbeque. At that moment, I knew that I forgave him, and all I wanted was this group of friends once again. (I really wish we can talk again...maybe face to face...) This group of girls, and the few guys were all the people who were there walking with me, when I knew nothing. The stories and memories we share are so precious...no other friends can really replace them.

Just today...I found out that the girls will be having a meetup next week...which I would not be able to attend :( I wasn't invited, and a sense of bitterness with no doubt filled my heart (along with other things). I became resentful, because many of them did not reply my emails or facebook messages when I was trying to reach out to them this past year...thoughts mounting...

Suddenly at a break of moment, I realized one thing. I love these girls more than I can really be angry with them. I was upset because I valued them so much. Then I started a conversation with the person I was texting, and we decided to meet up tomorrow (since I won't be able to go to the gathering) ...cause I'm spontaneous! :P If you happen to see this before lunch, please pray for our conversation. She drifted away from God these past few years, and I just really hope to have an edifying conversation with her :)

I'm thankful that I have this chance to reconnect :) Starting from small, one step at a time.